Peer Response Entry 2 (Week 7)

This is in response to Drika's Free Entry regarding her idea of love:

 

"Her heart pounded in her chest as she circled her eyes locked on her goal. She shifted the weight onto her left foot and punched sending him staggering backwards. He recovered quickly and charged at her, his intent clear. She deflected his attack and took a few steps back in an attempt to catch her breath. The intense burning of her chest as she tried to suck in air only added to her agony.

“Give up.” His foot connected with her side.

“Great idea.” She delivers a perfectly executed uppercut to his chin that drops him to the floor. The bell rings in the distance and the fight is over.

“Hey! Don’t break my control!” she watches the brand new glow in the dark PS3 controller skitter across the floor.

“Cheater.” He storms away leaving her holding the matching joystick.

She crossed the room and picked up the controller, checking for scratches. Once she was satisfied his temper tantrum hadn’t caused any damage she sat back on the couch and set the match to replay again.

“Best 3 out of five?”

He stomped back into the room and grabbed the controller she was handing him.

“Sorry I threw the controller.”"

 

This is a very interesting piece because it isn't something that people normally think of when they think of love. Usually, like we talk about in class, people think of romance and lovey dovey giggling, but in this case, love is as simple as just withstanding a temper tantrum. That simplicity of love is so overlooked nowadays in literature, and I like that image of "she crossed the room and picked up the controller, checking for scratches. Once she was satisfied his temper tantrum hadn't caused any damage she sat back on the couch and set the match to replay again," because she isn't fazed by this. It makes me wonder if this male character has done the temper tantrum thing before...if he has, maybe you could touch on that, therefore showing her love being strong purely because this is a norm. 

I also like the fact that you don't start out by stating that they are playing a video game...we don't find that out until later and that has the reader guessing about the fight in the beginning. I thought that they were actually fighting and then laughed when realizing that it was a video game. 

My suggestion would be to expand upon the male character...does he have these tantrums often? Do they normally sit around playing video games? What does he do for her that shows his love?