This is in response to Guillem's Calisthenic Week 7...
Between a ghost town and a village,
empty streets—no tangle ups,
across from where Augusta stood
with a smoldering cat,
both hissing at the past.
Outside all's unknown,
hidden patterns taped to ceilings
glow, not shine
like alternating pegs,
their home not jet black space
but the flesh of a child.
I love all the images that are in this piece. The language of "smoldering cats" and "hissing at the past" are so intriguing because they are not typically compared. Its fresh. The way they are combined with the unknown outside from the second stanza is also very creative because it makes the reader wonder why...why is it important that the hidden patterns homes are not black spaces? Why is it important that their homes are in the flesh of children? Why is it unknown? I would suggest maybe expanding upon that "unknown" idea. The first line of the second stanza may be a bit available, but you could grow upon it and make it less available by using the exciting and fresh language that you do with the smoldering cat hissing at the past.
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