This is an improv off of "Warming Her Pearls" by Carol Ann Duffy. There was no real rhyme scheme or anything I found, so I just kind of took "her pearls" and went.
My father took my pearls,
kept them by her pearls.
Told us something in Chinese
that mentioned pearls.
My father doesn't know Chinese
and shakes his head at pearls,
nods his head at pearls,
and mutters trouble, in Chinese.
Two women under one roof,
holding pearls?
So bypassing the obvious hyperuse of the word "pearl", which was clearly an intentional bit of play and thus saying it was somewhat overused would be unnecessary, I will jump in to say there are moments here worth keeping. I always find it interesting when poems utilize repetition in order to force a certain awareness into me as a reader on the way words function. Generally that repetition forces me to create new meaning or different understanding of the function of the word as a verb or noun. However here, because the word “pearls” never really changes how it works, this leads to the feeling of triteness. Lines that I feel like could be carried over to another draft: Told us something in Chinese / that mentioned pearls; and shakes his head at pearls. / nods his head at pearls. I also like the ending question, like a method of purpose from the writer.
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