Critical Commentary Post One Week Four

This is a critical commentary of Kelsey's Improv One of "Riverbank Blues" by Sterling A. Brown.
This is the original post:

Feet glop in the muddy field, his shoes--suction
cups that slap with every pull of the leg.
He wades through ankle deep mud--reminds
him of chocolate cake batter--on his way home..
He can't tell the cow shit in this current brown lagoon.
He sloshes up the porch steps, imprints
of his shoes--the markers of his presence--and kicks
them off before walking in. The lights inside leave a yellow haze
along the walls, the couch that waits for the promise
of two figures weighing on its springs. 

This is what I said:

This is a very interesting piece, starting with the word "glop." I love the way that word sounds in the mouth when you say it, but it also fits in this piece perfectly. There are two periods after "home" in the fourth line, but that is just a type error. I think the line that starts "he wades through ankle deep mud," and the line that starts "he can't tell the cow shit" are kind of saying the same thing. For me as a reader, the second of the two is more interesting in regards to language, but as a critic it might be interesting to combine them: "he wades through ankle deep mud--not sure the cow shit in this current brown lagoon. Chocolate cake batter, the thinks--almost home."
The interesting bit to me, the turn if you will, is when seventh line interrupts with "markers of his presence." I stopped there for a moment, curious about where this piece was going to go: does this speaker have identity issues? Is this speaker trying to make himself a force in the household? Is this going to turn out like "Respect, 1967" by Ai? For me, I wanted more than the piece was willing to give. When it ended with "waits for the promise of two figures weighing on its springs," I was slightly disappointed. It's beautiful, but the first two thirds of the piece are a man sloshing through some brown muck only to leave the reader slightly confused about what was happening at home. I think a little expansion will be interesting for this ending. I want to know why the man is waiting for the promise of two figures? What is going on at home? What does he do at home besides wait for someone? I think this piece is very interesting and uncanny and beautiful.