Around the corner from the nook in the library, a kid in red sweatpants and an oversized gray hoodie untied his shoes and began picking at his toes. Every so often a squelching sound echoed from his corner, followed by a muffled sorry. On his screen, a semi blows up and his phone rings. Grabbing a pair of pants and his shoes, he walks off talking, leaving everything else at the table.
Later, while driving home, a women with a bath towel wrapped around her head sits in a white compact at the entrance to a barn house once hidden by spring.
I like how odd these details are. While there is no connection between the boy in the library and the woman outside, if you made this into a poem, I would be very interested in seeing how you tie these details together. Also, I kind of want more details on the squelching sounds. What exactly was between his toes? Can the speaker smell it? What was he watching on his computer? I think more description of the actions taking place could benefit this entry because, it could not only lengthen it and give more details and context, but also could potentially help, as stated earlier, tie the events together. The details about the woman are particularly odd. While I have no idea how you could tie any of the specifics about the woman and the barn house into a final narrative, I think it would be very interesting to read. Could the woman be a logo or symbol on something on the boy’s screen? Also, where did the pants come from? All the details seem to just come out of nowhere, and I really like that, but I feel if this were in a draft for a poem, it would definitely need something to tie it together.
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