This is an improv off of the "Heart of the Matter" by Susan Prospere. I took words that I liked from the piece and created my own piece.
Tomorrow, I'll look past your primal sadness and flue,
and we'll go to where there are no nooks or claw-
footed foliage, jack-lit by a firebrick. Tomorrow,
I'll find the mahogany china in the alley of our apartment,
mixed in with the potpourri of corsets and fishnets of corner
girls of Peachtree Street. Are you a fallow bear? Only
bracketed as a knave peerer over gilded air- slightly
stale from sweat and semen? Don't look at me
like that- like a forlorn yet vivified puppy, carved
and intertwined into my legs.
This work is so different for you, Taylor! You focused a lot more on the language than a narrative or have it making any sense. You've got some beautiful moments of language here that I think you should keep for later. The opening line is great because you've got this HUGE abstraction of primal sadness, but then you have it juxtaposed with this minor, everyday object like the flue. I also love the last line "carved and intertwined into my legs" because it sounds sexual yet you aren't describing anything sexual at all. I think this shows that you're becoming really good at making your pieces or your next move unexpected!
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