"The smell of curry fills my nostrils even before the Indian
Restaurant comes into view. Window shoppers peruse the various goods in shop
windows nearby, and an older Italian beggar approaches me with a bird and a
chest filled with lottery tickets. I do my best to be firm in my refusal to
participate and I leave him awkwardly with regret and embarrassment flooding my
belly."
This is what I said in response:
"This
is a really interesting image. I feel like you could have something
here with the idea of the beggars. I would love to see that expanded:
how do you feel when they put out those empty coin bowls? Do you think
they are for real or just acting? How do they compare to the gypsies in
Rome or Assisi? The other thing you should expand upon is the regret and
embarrassment. That is a really interesting and revealing idea, why
would someone have this sort of reaction with beggars? This shows some
sort of empathy with them and at the same time, the feeling that you are
better than them. I urge you to explore that, and do what Davidson has
told us this whole time: dig deeper, ask questions of yourself and this
scene. Also, if you choose to create this into a longer draft, of course
you are going to dive into specifics. Where are you? What is the name
of the indian restaurant? What are the shoppers buying? What are you
wanting to buy? What shops are you passing? What is the beggar wearing?
What kind of birds are they? These are questions you know the answers
to...leave the meaning to the readers."
