Today in class we never really had a chance to do the active voice assignment, so it was assigned as homework...but I kinda wanted to take a stab at it for the calisthenic post for this week.
Here it goes:
One of the original sentences was: It was a nice spring day. Ok. A spring day...that normally conjures up the birds and the flowers...but for me today was a nice almost spring like day....
So here's my sentence: The clean, clear blue sky shone brightly through the budding trees, gleaming where the remaining rain drops sit on the premature leaves.
Or there is another one: The math problem was hard.
How about this: The vein in Mike's head bulged as he furiously scribbled and erased the answer to the problem over and over, wearing down both the lead and the eraser.
The active voice assignment kind of reminds me of the showing not telling calisthenic that we did in class...
Sadly today reminded me of a nice spring day too. I wish we had gotten a winter this year!
ReplyDeleteThe second one actually sounds a lot like me when I took my math classes. LOTS of erasing!
Your first description definitely gets me thinking of Spring, but I think that the budding trees should be budding with a specific flower or color. And I like "gleaming where the remaining rain drops sit" because it has some good verbs. That being said I'd have trouble describing Spring much differently.
ReplyDeleteAs for the hard math problem, I like the description a lot. I can really see this happening. I think you could get a little more specific with by maybe describing what he wrote down on his paper by telling us he was writing different numbers or variables or whatever depending on what kind of math problem he was doing. Other than that good job.