Original post 2 week 5

The Ten Commandments of self love sit on a bench outside the TLC lecture halls, repeated in the minds of the girl in purple upstairs, who printed them out before leaving the house this morning. 

1. I shall lovingly accept myself as I am right now. 

2. I shall regularly give thanks for all my blessings. 

3. I shall appreciate the beauty that makes me who I am.

A boy in black understands nothing, but sits in class discussing his personal life, using it against Emerson and Thoreau, or Morrison and her book Beloved. Because he's beloved by his mother and forgets to set his alarm each morning. 

4. I shall trust in my ability to take care of myself. 

5. I shall not criticize others. 

6. I shall forgive myself when I make a mistake. 

My mother drinks to forget my father, her mother, and the empty beds downstairs. Her car leaks fluid in the garage while my father drives around in the backseat of a man in a suit, sucking on a mint, discussing children he barely knows. 

7. I shall not criticize myself. 

8. I shall be kind to others, without sacrificing my own needs. 

9. I shall take responsibility for my life. 

My sister pulls into my driveway in her best friends truck, lugging a duffel. She sits on my kitchen table, cross legged, eating a piece of chocolate cake with yellow balloons. 

10. I shall love myself to the best of my ability. 

I almost fall asleep to the sound of my hamster running on her wheel, while a bottle of apple flavored wine sits half empty in the refrigerator, echoing something I can almost hear under the silence.